I’m still reeling from the documentaries we watched in our pre-departure workshop. Though I participated in the 2009 Challenges to Peacebuilding in Cambodia J-Term, we were removed from outright violence because there was no filmed documentation of the genocide.  I’m more comfortable now than I once was with the idea of the victim/perpetrator cycle, but as Ben mentioned in his blog, the brutality we experienced via television from the safety of our classroom in Monterey was so personal.  I am not frightened of sorrow nor of anger dictating the way I experience my daily routine, and I anticipate that tears and frustration will punctuate my experience in Sierra Leone.  However, seeing this violence requires a new dimension of emotional processing in terms of fear, and I am having a lot of trouble with this.

The documentaries covered a lot of ground, describing the actors, issues, and themes implicated in the war and its aftermath.  However, much of the footage came from a civilian who managed to film the violence perpetrated by both the RUF rebels and the ECOMOG forces against both combatants and civilians.   I cannot describe the horror I felt watching the slow process of ECOMOG forces approaching an innocent developmentally disabled child that they believed to be a sniper, dragging him to their vehicle and torturing him without mercy.  Suddenly I did not want to be in the classroom, I just wanted my Mother, craving one of man’s basic needs of human warmth and security.

In certain moments over the past few days I have been overcome by this feeling of fear as my mind returns to the boy who could not run to his mother.  He had to experience the fear and bare the torture.  Where was the warmth and security for this boy?  How can a person who has undergone this trauma feel that they can rely on security after having experienced such vicious cruelty?

As students of conflict resolution, we are learning that without knowing this violence and without really feeling the pain of those who have lived through the war, its impossible to be effective in the field of conflict resolution.  However, while I am comfortable with sadness and anger, I lack confidence when it comes to fear, which has certainly affected my routines in the past few days.  I can only imagine what it is like to live in permanent fear on top of the sadness and anger of losing not only limbs and loved ones, but every form of individual and social identity.

Last night our group came together with friends, family, and faculty to participate in a fundraiser at the cozy Bistro 211 in Carmel, a dinner organized by Rishna, whose father owns the restaurant.  Prior to the big night our group divided into smaller task forces to handle the logistics of the evening’s set-up and clean-up, the creation of flyers and thank you cards, and solicit wine donations.

I arrived early with the set up crew, which polished, decorated, stuffed mushrooms, and sliced limes as per the instructions of Rishna and the Bistro 211 kitchen staff.  As the rest of our Sierra Leone group arrived and guests began to trickle in, more of us served appetizers and wine while the intimate Bistro 211 twinkled and buzzed with conversation.  Every seat in the house was soon filled and our team brought out the bread and a first course of two bean soup. Salads came out next followed by family style servings of Salmon, Chicken, Vegetables, and Quinoa.

As everyone finished, Pushpa outlined the objectives of this J-Term, explaining how fieldwork is one of the best ways to bring home the concept of peacebuilding.  The Dean of GSIPM, Dr. Yuwei Shi, then spoke about the increasing popularity of the J-Term experience at MIIS, mentioning how meaningful J-Terms are to students’ learning experiences.  He revealed that Pushpa has set a pattern for her future J-terms.  While last year she held her J-Term in Cambodia, and this year is Sierra Leone, next year she will go to Nepal and the following year she will begin in Cambodia again.  This will become a series of courses that will build an ongoing research database with her students about the challenges to peacebuilding in three very different post war societies.

This was a truly special way to combine close community and gorgeous food with genuine discussion about the challenges that we, as students of conflict resolution, will face in Sierra Leone.  Friends, family, and faculty made it clear that we have a strong support base who will follow our adventures.  We topped the event off with desert – a warm apple pie adorned with blackberries and caramel sauce – as the evening came to an end.  More members of our team extended their helping hands for the clean up and Bistro 211 closed for the evening.
Thank you so much to Rishna, her family, and the kitchen staff of Bistro 211 for making this fundraiser possible.  It was absolutely classy, tasty, and memorable!